A bachelor's degree and career later...

 Hello fellow wastelandian,

I created my blog because I felt like I lived in a wasteland. The pollution of my inner thoughts and of the world... the bigotry that seeps through my windows at night and the poison of hurtful well meanings. Anyway I stopped by blog in December 2013 to start my trudgery of college applications, from where I descended into binge eating and the creation of a toxic relationship with food to help me cope with my feelings of inadequacy, of being pushed around and used for conditional family love, and it's 7.5 years later and I am again realizing that I have fallen into the trap. I'm back at living at home - my parents are still having the same issues. I still think that I need to go to graduate school in order to be some kind of better person. and stressing about how I'll get into some school, who will pay for it, what the purpose of it all is. The thing that is hard for me to realize is that I have inherent purpose - that my value is not based on my external identity. Anyway I'm re-listening to the Power of Now and that's what it says. But it's hard to not base your ideas of who you are on some career. And it's hard to not identify with your thoughts, no matter how trenched in illusions they are. For example, in 2013 I was freaking out about gaining weight. And February 19, 2021 I'm still freaking out about that prospect. and my eating habits have not gotten any more satisfactory or grounding. Anyway. As I go into my 25th birthday in less than 2 weeks I have some things on my mind:

- to move to New York City

- to find a way to listen to my internal cues 

- to discover the inherent intelligence of me

I don't need luck. I don't need to be a better person. I am okay just as I am. 

- Wastelandian

Nature

Tumblr can either be your best friend or worst enemy. It can inspire you with positive quotes and feminism and funny gifs or it can crumble your self esteem with unrealistic women and thinspiration that leeches all that is good from your life. But nevertheless, if you use it right, Tumblr can show you some truly beautiful things, places, or ideas. Let's spend this post to appreciate some nature.

Cut Copy Concert

{I'm wearing an Urban Outfitters x Unif camo jacket from Ebay, Forever 21 t shirt, Urban Outfitters jeans, TUK creepers}

{My friend is wearing a thrift leather jacket, Urban Outfitters cami, unknown jeans and shoes}

A few weeks ago my friend and I went to a Cut Copy concert and the Boston House of Blues. It was amazing. They kinda peaked in 2008, but nevertheless they’re completely captivating live and have a great balance of electronic and eclectic sounds. My friend and I were probably the youngest people there, and there were a lot of drunk-and-arrogant-in-their-mid-twenties types there. It was still amazing. I highly recommend going to one of their concerts.  We also met Dan Whitford (the vocals, keyboard, and guitar of the group) on the street about an hour later which was surreal.